I've seen alot of discussion on this topic recently. I think it's one of the most debated things between us moms right up there with breastfeeding and circumcision. I think everyone has and opinion (even those with no right to judge on the matter). Here's what I have to say: With my first I didn't set out thinking "I'm going to co-sleep." It just happened. In fact, I was wracked with guilt in the beginning because I felt, or was made to feel by some people, that I was doing it wrong and it was bad for my daughter. People told me I would smother her and it wasn't safe, and other people told me I would never get her out of our bed. I was so scared of the first that for the first few months I slept with her on top of me. I worried about that too because she was sleeping on her stomach and all the "experts" warn against that too, As for the second, when I was ready, about the time she was one, I decided to attempt a move to the crib. I started her off slowly, getting her to nap in there during the day. Then one night, I put her in there and walked out. She cried, of course, but it only lasted a couple of hours and that was it. She was ready too. With the exception of a few stormy nights, she has slept in her own bed ever since. When my son came along, I knew I would follow the same path with him. He is almost seven months old and he sleeps in the bed with us. Pretty soon I'll get him working on the crib. He is alot different than my daughter, and I'm anticipating it might be a little more difficult, but I don't regret having him in the bed with me. For one thing, when he wakes up in the middle of the night I don't even have to wake up to nurse him. So co-sleeping has worked out for me. But that doesn't mean that I think other women who choose something different are bad moms. I think there are so many worse ways we can worry about messing up our kids, and I think that we all need to stop this pitting women against women, mother vs mother in this who does it best contest. There is no one right way, only the way that's right for you.
This whole debate to me is kind of crazy, since co-sleeping has been around since men and women started procreating, but we modern folks love to dissect every. possible. thing. I didn't even remotely have a plan. The first one slept in my arms the first month of her life simply because I couldn't stand to be away from her and wanted to soak up every single minute. She transitioned to the crib so easily, it kind of broke my heart. With the second, we put her in a playard from the day we brought her home, but I still put her in the bed if she's having a bad time. I don't think we're raising serial killers because of it.
ReplyDeleteDamn, that was a long comment!
Honestly I don't care what any mother have to tell me about co sleeping. I don't care what statistics showed, what doctors say. Everyone have their own opinion, yes. And have every right to voice them. Co sleeping to me is a fight not worth fighting. Just like breast feeding or formula fed babies. It really doea not matter. I personally will never tell a mother how to raise her child because statistics show this and someone said that. Their child is not mine and if she feels the need to co sleep formula feed breast feed all the best to her. As long as she is not harming her child in anyway she is fine my book.
ReplyDeleteNow since I said that. I co sleep with my son just out of laziness. I don't want to walk the distance to feed him during the night. That's all. Call me a bad mother if you want but I don't care. My son has no problem sleeping in his own crib when I put him in there some nights. I don't think it will be problem later but if it is....guess what?...I'm going to deal with it :) just like every other problem that would come up. It's not the end of the world mommies. Your baby will be alright.
I nursed all of my babies. And every one of them ended up sleeping with me. It was just easier. And snugglier. And, like Melissa said, co-sleeping has been around since people started having babies. The dawn of time! The only problem with it that I ever saw was that I never changed position and my arm would inevitably go to sleep. Small price to pay . . .
ReplyDeleteI had always been of the belief that babies belonged in their cribs but Noah's crib was in our room and I had developed carpal tunnel during my pregnancy (it went away eventually) so I just kept him with us and I loved it. Unfortunately Noah ended up being used as a way to keep my ex off of me and then we divorced and he slept with me until he was 7, but it was comforting for both of us.
ReplyDeleteNo one has the right to judge another for their co-sleeping habits with their children. You do what feels right for YOU and don't worry about what others think. Cherish these moments you have with them while they are young. By the time they are in school, it won't really matter how long they slept in your bed, will it? Enjoy your precious babies.
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